Name may ling
DOB 28th july
Email chanclarise@gmail.com
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mayling signed off at
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-Thursday, April 28, 2005-
my 37th hour of awakenness
i reeeli nid to sleep after this blog. it's killing me. i tried to sleep on the train, in sheldon's car but i couldn't!! pls no more insomnia. i guess no more le, since i feel much more relieved. hee.
happie dae for me.
met up with ant and jo for dinner at phin's steakhouse. after met jimmy cos i wanna buy pressie for ant and i got no idea what to buy. but ended up not buying anything yet cos didn't see anything suitable.. :( well, i'm happie still. :)
mayling signed off at
|11:05:00 PM|
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sleepless + caffeine-overdose
it's 6am. i didn't sleep a wink. i tried! i turned in at 4am.. reeli sleepy n all but i just couldn't sleep. mind's all awake. i tink i'm dying soon, if this continues. it's like 3 daes a row i haf insomnia n i needa make it all up in one normal dae's sleep. it's gonna kill me soon.
alrighty, i feel less burdened now tt i've let the biggest cat outta the bag. but den aagain.. hmm.
i feel fainty. i still feel the lingering taste of caffeine?? this is soooo.. i love coffee but it kills me. this love-hate relationship. sounds so familiar.. always. just one cup of fresh brew from delifrance this noon at 12.45pm is killing me til now! tt's like 18 hours ago. but den.. i love tt coffee from delifrance! :P i tink i know why i get overdosed. i didn't eat before tt coffee.. hmm. coffee is like alcohol to me. i tried diluting tt caffeine by drinking lotsa water.. helped abit tho. but u know how caffeine haf tt impact on ur gastric? it's still doing tt to me now. n it's 18hours after my coffee mind u. ....!!! well, when u love something, u tend to overlook the pain it does to u. prolly same when u love someone?
lack of sleep causes bloatedness [is this the right word? i can't reeeli remember]. my face gonna be super bloated if this continues. pls dun. pls gimme sleep. pls pls pls. God help me!!!
ohyes, got an sms from my godbro anthony todae.. hee i tink he's still in taiwan. i'm a lousy godsis, twice he smsed me "how r u?" n i din reply, cos i tot it'd be ex. but this morning, he smsed me tt he got a jay chou concert cd for me. heeezzzz. so happie! of cos i replied with a big thank you. aizz.. feel so bad.. like so u know.. hehe. but den.. hmm. :) can't wait for him.. n the CD to come back! heez!
mayling signed off at
|6:00:00 AM|
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-Tuesday, April 26, 2005-
sad and confused
it's one of those daes i feel affected by someone. why... i wish i could just stop being affected.
sometimes i dun understand i have such mood swings. i know it's not good. but sometimes i just never control my emotions properlie. n yes, sometimes i do tell myself tt i hate myself for that. but reeeli, i dun reeeli hate myself. it's just tt part of me i dislike.
i wish i could just ... but... i can't. it's killing me n driving me nuts. everyday it's killing me!!dun worry, it's nothing serious... hehe. hmmm.. i'm pretty emotional at times.. i get carried away easily. i get affected easily.
wat shld i do.
mayling signed off at
|9:59:00 PM|
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-Monday, April 25, 2005-
caffeine-overdose n extreme lack of sleep
today was pretty bad for me in some sense.. n for a few hours i was in bad mood. last nite i couldn't sleep well at all.. tossed n turned til like 5.30am before i went into dreamland.. n had to get up at 7.30am. was yawning all thru out the morning meetin. :P
pretty touchy today n i nearly cried in the office, cos i was 1)tired + v sleepy, 2)stressed by work. i was even more tired after my 2pm appt n i took cab down to meet another client at woodlands after tt. after tt i was totali exhausted n i nearly collapsed.. the coffee was killing me. :( actualli was abt to head home oredi.. but i decided to go back office instead. as usual calling session til 10pm.
not so tired now, tt i'm home. try to catch some sleep. i dun wanna fall sick. God protect me!
tmr is gonna be a gooooooooood dae!
[recently i'm reeeeli happie. heez.]
mayling signed off at
|11:09:00 PM|
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-Sunday, April 24, 2005-
sundae
it's sundae!n sundaes i dun reeeli like to work. :P but i haf to!
why i dun like to work on sundaes:
1)sundae is usualli warmer den other daes. as the name implies.. it's sunny.
2)it's family dae. i miss spending time with my mum n dad.
3)i dun report to office in the morning on sundaes so i dun find it like a normal workdae to me.
4)i dress business whilst everyone on the bus or train wear as if they're going to the market.
heez..
but it's just a feelin la. it's still fun n all when i tink back on my sundaes when i go to work.
tmr's mondae. heez. looking 4ward to seeing everyone in the office!
mayling signed off at
|11:41:00 PM|
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-Saturday, April 23, 2005-
i love singing!!
yestie was a reeeli fun dae. had miting in the morning, appointment in the afternoon. den we [jimmy, celine, lynn, grace n me] went to orchard to 'do some work'.. ended up rotting n crappin at far east BK. hehe. at 5pm, celine went to mit her fren, grace went to mit her frens for dinner, lynn went to mit her boyfren, jimmy went for appt n i headed back to office. wasn't feelin v good yestie.. :( so din want to go home.
jimmy came back to office after his appointment n we're supposed to do callin.. but ended up we went to sing at kbox. waahaaa..so long never sing le. so v happie. :) after tt we went to eat before going home.. it's like 2am went we left cineleisure.
this morning i got 10am appointment so it was a struggle for me. took cab down as i overslept. opps. the next appt was at 1pm! so i was rotting from like 11 to 1.. n guess wat the guy was late for almost an hr so i waited for 3hours! aaaaah!
met zhen at bugis after tt n we had sushi!! ye!! nice nice. :P we shared cab with annie n michelle to church cos we missed the bus. heeez.
supposed to mit fir n celine to chill.. hee, but my hp went flat n i had to head hm instead.. sorry guys. :P
so sleepy. last nite oni slept like 4 hours.. *yawnz.
mayling signed off at
|11:32:00 PM|
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-Sunday, April 10, 2005-
sick
erm. i'm sick again.
i dunno y, been losing sleep for mani days and i can't get to sleep til like 3, 4 am. it's terrible. i'm v tired but i just can't get sleepy. argh.
it's sunday! past week had been pretty okie, but could have been better i guess.
supposed to send anthony off tonight but i guess i can't le.. dun tink i can tahan til so late. :( sorry ant!
mayling signed off at
|10:56:00 AM|
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-Monday, April 04, 2005-
another i-can't-sleep night
not again! when i opened my eyes and saw darkness still, i knew it's another staggered sleeping hours night for me. i dun like it and i seriously tink i'm becoming unhealthy. ever since i-dunno-when, i've been having this.. waking up at least 3 times a night, can't sleep thru the night properlie.
it's 3.46am now. my eyes are wide open, dun feel lyke sleeping at all. i kinda enjoy this actualli.. serenity, peace, calmness..
just now was ivy's wedding dinner, it was pretty fun and interesting. hehe. actualli had this bear bear door gift, but i decided to give mine to daus so that the boy-bear and the girl-bear could be together [mine's a girl and daus' is a boy]. i wanted a pair actualli.. but no one wants to surrender his/her boy-bear.. so i decided to surrender mine instead. i'm glad the boy-bear and girl-bear are together! haha.
i was having gastric pain thru-out the dinner tho, so kinda killed my joy by a quarter but still it was fun.
tmr is monday, mah fave day of the week cos it marks a whole new, bright, adventurous, exciting, challenging blah blah blah week! yay!
been very confused lately. i tink it's driving me mad. and it's making me very irritable. very sensitive. God help me pls.
mayling signed off at
|3:45:00 AM|
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-Saturday, April 02, 2005-
ill-disciplined
i've been ill-disciplined yestie n today. i slept too much. i can't continue like this. i feel so lazy.. yestie slept til 10am. well den, i guess i have a good reason cos i was depressed the night before n was crying :P. den today slept til 11am. bad. no excuse! so tmr must get back to normal n wake up before 8am again.
tmr is ivy's wedding. it's a long dae.. 4 appts before i can go home and get ready.
mayling signed off at
|11:36:00 PM|
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-Friday, April 01, 2005-
am i high maintainence?
i guess i am. i get upset easily. feel lousy easily. but i get positive and happie easily too. just a small lil kind gesture can make my day. but sometimes, i just feel v sad becos it seems that people dun reciprocate my friendship to them, if u get what i mean. seriously i cant expect everyone to like me, in fact i know that i do haf traits that upsets people. however i do try to be the best i can. but mani times i still get sad easily. why.
everyone is confusing. they all confuse me. everyone is so different. if i treat everyone the same, it doesn't guarantee the same response u know? so it's pointless treating everyone equalli right? i hate living in my own world and living on my own. but sometimes the pursuit of community living, building interpersonal relationships is so tough n so hurting. n for someone like me, the hurt escalates.. i haf 2 admit i'm more sensitive den most others. can i just ignore. there must b a reason y i am made the way i am.
it's painful, when u love someone, but the someone doesn't know. n all u can do is love tat person quietly, and trying to help the person the best u can, but yet keep the distance. is it silly? or issit just the way love is? love shld be happie n not painful, right? this is so confusing. contradicting.
mayling signed off at
|12:04:00 AM|
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