-Monday, January 31, 2005-

i am very down

i shldn't confess negative.. but sometimes things just get me down. alot of things going thru mah mind today. work, church, family, finances, relationships.. so mani things! it's crushing me and tearing me apart. i feel so much like crying. but what's the use.

i wunder what am i tinking. what do i realli wan. most of the time i dun get what i want. i'm not blaming, but i am just wundering why.

我受够了等待
你所谓的安排

你说的未来到底多久才来





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-Sunday, January 30, 2005-

weekend over le!

this had been a very fruitful week for me. :)

and v happie too.

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-Thursday, January 27, 2005-

good night

time to sleep now
close your eyes

i didn't do my best today. so i must review. i must focus on my goals and not on my feelings and thoughts. leave them at home!

go!!!!

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good morning!

aiz. wanted to blog last nite, but brother was using the pc the whole night and i was dozing off while waiting, so i went to bed at 11pm. haah. was sooo tired last night.

yestie was so tiring. having roadshow at orchard. pls drop by. heez. quite fun actualli. i left at 7pm and went to compass point for some mos burger mussels before heading home. gladys called at 9pm and told me she's at shaw house and asked me where i was.. haha. i was home lo.

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-Wednesday, January 26, 2005-

beautiful morning

woken up by my handphone alarm this morning and i realised that i did not switch on the power to charge my handphone last night, tho it was plugged in =_="'

felt realli tired! cos slept late last nite. but no worries, i'm really energetic now and ready to go to work. heez.

it's gonna be a short day actualli. so i'd be home for dinner. how cool. heez. miss mama's cooking.

ohyes, i'd b having MOS today i hope. yay!

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-Tuesday, January 25, 2005-

back to business. chiong!!

heez. monday, start of a new week. i've still running for my jan target! not givin up!

thank God i recovered, roadshow's coming and i am just in time and excited for it. it's gonna be great.

nite!

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-Monday, January 24, 2005-

craving for MOS

dunno why. i had a craving for MOS burger this afternoon! delivered policy to mah client at Eunos.. i felt hungry and wanted to just have a quik bite before going home. i went past lotsa coffeeshops but none of them appealed to me. suddenly MOS burger flashed thru my mind. so i endured the hunger and travelled all the way to compass pt. and had mah MOS burger lunch! u'd flip if u knew what i ordered so i shall keep it a secret. bah~~~

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-Sunday, January 23, 2005-

wat a day

no lappy. feelin' so weird.

anywayz, it's not a realli exciting sunday.

went jogging in the evening. ate lotsa fruits and mah mum was shocked. hehe.
she commented that i shouldn't have trimmed mah hair, dun look as nice as before she says.

tmr is monday worz. that makes today sunday. cool huh.

lazy. tonight supposed to call. but, what's wrong with me?
this week gonna have roadshow. orchard road. cool.

feel like going to the coffeeshop. but i'm lazy.

ya tink i shud go to europe with mah gor? prolly may/june. so i have 4/5 months to save up. and i shud be highlighting mah hair after CNY. celine's green highlights looks cool.

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miss ya all

something happened [i'm not talking abt the lappy thingy la]. had to settle it, so i couldn't see u all this week. i am so sorry.

i'm fine! dun worry. heez.

will call some of u this week.. mayb meet up too. :)

hmm, dunno why, i miss zoe alot. heez.

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-Saturday, January 22, 2005-

haiz. wat a boring day

i dun understand why some people like to use the f-word.. or s-word.. or the WL? it doesn't sound cool at all for goodness sake. try using some other creative words to substitute? words that are civilised and cool. please.

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more pics for mah bloggie

went to read thru all my previous blogs and i realised that i used to post lotsa pics! hmm, i guess i was too lazy den i didn't realli post pics le. i'd put up more pics.. but that's when mah lappy comes home from hospital. cos mah gor's pc hasn't got infrared port wor. gotta infra dah pics in2 mah lappy.

my gor just sms me "ok your lappy has been admitted".

wish mah lappy a smooth operation and speedy recovery. missin' ya!



hee, took a pic of mah reflection in dah mirror. i was using acne musk for mah nose la. heez.

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my lappy's gone

it has gone for checkup. should b back in a week i hope. brother says it'd not be very fast.. looks like big problem. haiz. mum and bro were teasing me abt sending it for servicing, asked me if i would die without it. haha. [btw, i'm using my bro's pc while he's out].

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-Friday, January 21, 2005-

爱很简单

忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你有一种感觉
突然间发现自己
已深深爱上你
爱真得很简单

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JB Trip 19 jan 2005

i'm supposed to blog abt my JB trip.. on wednesday, celine and i went into JB [with her boyfriend..]. we went in really earlie, so we had breakfast at a coffeeshop and we ate prawn mee.. so nice! and realli cheap too. heez.

the hairdresser, darren came and pick us up in his car and drove us to his place. i rebonded mah hair, while celine highlighted hers. it was a long process, since darren had to work on 2 persons at the same time.. i felt super restless and since i couldn't walk ard, i kept falling asleep. darren's friend came over and she was super loud. she kept pestering darren and refused to leave... darren actualli had to drag her out of the house physically and locked her outself. and she still hang ard.. so scary wor. finally she left. phew.

everything was done by 5plus and darren drove us to city square. we had a quick dinner at macdonalds [heez.. ]. we started to shop at 7pm and had to leave at 8pm cos it's realli late le. when i reached home, it's almost 11pm wor..

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-Wednesday, January 19, 2005-

我好乱

“你知道了，跟没知道有什么分别？
告诉了你，等于没说过似的。
真有点后悔告诉你。
我想，是我自己太傻了。
以后，不要说太多。
想清楚了再说。

每天都在盼望，每天都在等待。
也不知道在等些什么。
觉得自己很无聊。
我想，还是别在等了。
该来的始终会来。
不该来的，怎么等，都等不到的。”

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-Tuesday, January 18, 2005-

Stomach Flu.

在睡觉之前，要记得写我的blog.
昨天，还以为病好了。。可是却并却变得更糟了。病毒感染了我的肚子。stomach flu.
没胃口吃东西。嘴巴又苦苦的。好辛苦。一天吃三次的药，每一次要吃七颗药丸。明天病好。。 好吗？

“等待。。 想念。。 等不到在等的。。 想念的又没出现。。 好想不要在等下去了。。 好想不要在想念下去了。。"

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-Sunday, January 16, 2005-

thoughts: enemy no.1...mediocrity

sick for 6 days.
did alot of thinking and spent alot of time reflecting on my own life.

i needa move on even more. u know, i always get stuck somewhere sometimes and i dun wanna move. but i can't do that anymore. i needa move on!

many people at mani times may have this thought : "i just wanna be a simple person, live a simple life, dun expect anything great from me, i'm contented just being a nobody."

i have no doubts that's not what God wants us to do!

following God is never easy, we say "let's lay down our lives for Him!". it's easier said. doing it, is really a decision and we need to follow thru what we have decided.

giving up things that'll hinder my love for Him. sacrificing whatever i needa sacrifice. sometimes it's a pain, unwillingness may creep in and in the end, we take back what we had given. and before we know it, we're walking in circles around what we had been called for, not a single step taken towards it.

focus. trust. faith.

be God-minded, not self-centred. things will be so much easier, peaceable if we choose God's way. serving God for God. not serving God for recognition.

pls, dun question how others are serving God. Jesus said in the last chapter of John "if I will that he remain til i come, what is it to u?". dun compare, stop tinking so greatly of urself, tinking that u're always doing more than the others. u never know what's in the will of God for you, and for the person[s] u're comparing with. probably pride has creeped in and u did not know. let's just serve God. there'll be no end if God wants to compare any one of us with Jesus. but He did not.

there'll be lotsa temptations in life. Jesus did not deny that. He was under every temptation and He went thru everyone of them. there's always a way for escape! take charge of ur life!

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fever is gone

finally. still feelin weak tho. honestly, it's pretty scary. hehe. but thank God it's over! went for svc 6 and wah, so mani people. i thought i couldn't breathe. the service was really good [tho i was abit giddy, thank God my seat was beside the wall only.. hee].

i must start to eat right and exercise more le. can't afford to fall sick for so long. realli.

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-Friday, January 14, 2005-

viral infection

fever came and go, came and go.. i kept feeling v cold, but i kept breaking into cold sweat.. today i thought i had recovered, so i went for the product launch and i nearly collapsed at suntec again. went to see doc just now and he said it's viral infection, my throat's inflammed. feel so weak and i get alot of tummy pains. keep feeling really thirsty no matter how much water i drink. need rest.

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-Thursday, January 13, 2005-

fever

couldn't sleep last night. woke up at 4.30am.. partly cos i was sick, partly cos i was scared i'd be late for today's 'flying start'. it was fun. heez. and when i saw the lady get that jaguar, i told myself that this yr, i'd qualify for the draw too.

had alot of fun today. prudential invited taufik to come and sing. flying dutchman came to host the event with another funnie MC named Justin. he's so cute. haha.

enjoyed myself, but was very sick when i left. went home and concussed .. lalala.

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sleepless

i slept at 2am last night cos my brother and i were trying to fix this lappie of mine. :( there's a prudential flying start at suntec today at 7.30am which means i have to wake up at 5.30am. but guess what, i woke up at 4.30am and i just couldn't sleep. so i laid on my bed and got up at 5am to bathe.

from now on.. i'd sleep before 12midnight.
and.. i'd wake up before 8am everyday!

i've been too disorganized with my time and it's driving me crazy.. and making me unhealthy. in fact, i'm sick now.. flu, sore throat and some fever. pray that i recover later.

something happened yesterday which left me abit dazed and really confused. but it's gonna be alright soon. heez.

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lappie crisis

saddedz! lappie recently got alot of corrupt files warnings. tried to reformat.. but keyboard spoil so cannot. den tried system restore and it kinda became worse.. v unstable! saddedzzzzz!

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-Wednesday, January 12, 2005-

blank blank

blank.

my mind's so blank, but yet so confused.

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-Monday, January 10, 2005-

thinking of...

today is a relaxing day for me. i did my final goal settings and recorded them down. i started a diary today for my goals. feeling settled and ready to chiong for 2005.

i downloaded alot of songs today. 2 nights ago in genting, there was this song which is really nice that i heard.

白色婚礼

今天特别冷
我想
是冬天来了
翻出一件件毛衣
也翻出有你的记忆
记得去年冬季
你说好下个冬季举行一场白色婚礼
在耶诞前夕
就我和你
两个人的婚礼也可以很甜蜜
接近零下的天气
强迫自己穿着短袖上衣
冷到不能呼吸
却害怕穿上毛衣
又想起了你
发现是冬季
眼泪结了冰
分不清
是太冷还是痛心
oh来不及
毛衣来不及送洗
我过期的白色婚礼.
沙滩不再美丽
情歌不再动听
我们不再可以一起一起
踩著浪花数著脚印
我们过期的约定

really nice and sad song. by Peggy Hsu. the way she sang it is really special.

another song which i really like is by Landy..

祝我生日快樂

我知道傷心不能改變什麼
那麼 讓我謙虛一點
城市 難免有不能控制的宣洩
只要關上了門 不必理誰..

# 一個人坐在空蕩的包廂裡面
手機 讓它休息一夜
那 想切割切掉回憶的畫面
眼淚不能流過十二點...

* 生日快樂 我對自己說
蠟燭點了 寂寞亮了
生日快樂 淚也熔了
我要謝謝你給的 你拿走的一切
還愛你 帶一點恨
還要時間 才能平衡
熱戀傷痕 懷念重生
祝我生日快樂

Repeat # *

還愛你 帶一點恨
還要時間 才能平衡
熱戀傷痕 懷念重生
祝我生日...快樂

it's written by Jay Chou. cool huh. it's really nice.

feeling abit weird today.

abit confused.. there's something i wanna say, but i dunno how. hmmmz.

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-Sunday, January 09, 2005-

back in Singpore!

i'm back!

hee, feeling weird and i wish i am still at Genting. Genting's nice. cool. cold. misty. the clouds settle low and it gets really nice!

slept around 5am for the past 2 nights and i really can't get used to sleeping at normal times now. haha. tmr is the beginning of my work. excited.. but abit lazy haha. well, it's a good start, cos i have submitted 3 cases before i left for Genting. thank God.

i'd work hard and bring glory to God. and be able to give my parents a good life, bless the people around me, and go overseas often!

this year's gonna be good. especially for my career. i know it's gonna be FANTASTIC.

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-Friday, January 07, 2005-

i am now in Kuala Lumpur!

finally managed to get access to the net after so mani days. hehe. was feeling abit weird without the internet, but i realised that i can do without it actually. but of cos, it'd be great if i can have easy access to it.

reached austin hills golf resort [johor bahru] on tuesday and man, the room is huge! i love the room so much. heez. the 3-day retreat with Everest Associates was really fun. we had games, nice food, nice bedroom, and of cos we have a Goal Achievers Seminar. it was very inspiring and i feel so much more confident and sure of what i want to do now. fears are still around, but they appear so much smaller to me and i am all ready to handle them all. i know that i must be so focused on what i want to do and not give up!

on thursday morning, we had a direct agency meeting with kenneth, daniel and gary and the rest of the agents under them. we shared our career goals for 2005 and i knoe that everyone of us will continue to pursue our goals with great faith and expectancy this yr!

left austin hills in the afternoon and we [kenneth, daniel, gary, cles, serene, celine, mr lam, carol, dan and me] headed for genting highlands. on the way, we stopped several times for breaks and nice food. the dinner was fantastic. i am not a seafood lover, but i must say the seafood we had was fantastic!

genting highlands is so cold. i almost can't walk properly. hhaz. the wind blows like crazy! we went to sing ktv last night and had a look at the casino there. cles, celine, serene and i didn't gamble, we just went to the food court there for some drinks [it was about 3am already]. we went back to the room at about 4am and we chatted til 5am [guess what, we talked abt christianity] before we dozed off into deep sleep. haz

this morning i woke up earlie, wanting to go to the cybercafe at the hotel but it won't be open til 12noon! so i walked around alone and when it finally opened, cles called me and asked me to meet them at the lobby as they're leaving already.. baha
we went to eat at fish and co, and the price is so cheap! it's the same price, just that the currency is different. so it's more den half price!!!!

alrightey, now the rest are shopping but i am here.. surfing the net and updating my events. heez. i didn't manage to buy anything at all. saddedz hor. hee but nevermind, i dun tink i lack anything at the moment. the clothes here are not really that nice, so i tink i'd buy stuff in singapore.

till then!

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-Tuesday, January 04, 2005-

i'm leaving!

going for another holiday trip. heez.

will be back on the 9th. to be fair to everyone,i wun be buying anything. hahahahahz!

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-Monday, January 03, 2005-

lalala

aizz, i'm using the blogspot's blogskin. very cham hor.. cos the previous cutie skin i was using, exceeeded bandwidth and can't disply da pics. so saddedz ah!

anywayz, i tink this skin is quite cool. pinky. heez.

today was fun! cellgroup appreciation. when i reached jon's place, it was all set up and i'm amazed at how they work. everything was added in pretty last min, but grace and jon set them up nicely and it was wat i wanted! thanx jon for bringing the high chair from ur gran's place.. and downloading the mission impossible soundtrack. and also grace who last min had to come out with da script for appreciation, she's really funnie, i realised she has a funnie luffter that makes everyone luff too. hahz.

thanx to all cellgroup members.. for the pretty gift. and of cos the nice certificate! i really enjoyed myself alot and it was really fun, i feltlike a talkshow host really. and the nasi lemak was nice too. heez. i love the chongpang nasi lemak.

actualli i am tired now. but tmr is my last day in singapore.. will b going to malaysia and mum's so cute. she was nagging at me abt the clothes i am bringing, i know she's worried and will miss me lots. that's for sure. i felt like a kid. my brother had to ask me abt exchanging for ringgit. lalala. i'm excited for da trip. heez

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