-Friday, August 29, 2008-

Good morning!

Again, I didn't fall asleep til 3am last 'night' [shld be this morning!]. Well I guess it was later than that, cos last time check was 2.46am and i did lots of tossing and turning til i fall asleep.

i set the alarm for 7.30am, 7.45m, 8am, 8.10am and 8.15am. i need to force myself to wake up early, since i can't sleep at night. i woke up at 7.52am! went for a walk downstairs and the air is so fresh and i am a happy girl. i'm quite sure i can sleep at around 12mn or earlier tonight. heehee.

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Random thoughts

couldn't sleep last night so i was thinking of my life and my past. it seems that i always regret the things that i do. i am a bad decision maker. or maybe i am not contented with what i have? i'd think back almost everything i do and wonder why did i not do this thing this way etc. it would have turned out totally different, and better. well, what's done cannot be undone and i must accept it! although i regret, but i'd still know that things could have been worse for me. Maybe I made that decision becos God knows if I didn't, i might have chosen a worse decision instead. It is not everytime that THINGS CAN BE BETTER.

I remember when i was in primary school, this girl BGM, always bullied me. From primary 4 til Sec 2, she haunted me! i was thinking about it last night, and i was still feeling bitter. she would pretend to be a really nice friend but behind my back, she'd stab my back. once, she even set up to break up my friendship with a group of other friends, by literally staging an act. and i was so stupid to fall into it. and worse, she would admit that she did it, with an evil grin, when i confronted her. and then, she would act innocent when i exposed her. i was totally helpless. and i was so silly to trust her again and again, for 4 years that she did these things to me. i guess that's why i don't have much trust in friendships. i had an unlucky 'childhood experience'? theories of psychology mostly suggests that things are very much fixated when we're little children, so alot of incidents that happened during childhood would determine how we would be like when we're older. and seriously, it is not fair. i was so young and how would i know how to standup for myself? til this day, 13 years later, i can still feel the pain and humiliation, the hurt. i never told her how i felt, cos i didn't have chance. after 13 years, i am no longer in contact with her, how do i tell her? moreover, i believe she has changed and no longer bullying friends. i only pray that God will relief me of these thoughts and feelings. i believe that memories can never be erased. when they say forgive and forget, it actually mean forgive, and forget those negative feelings. becos you cannot totally forget something that happened. it happened and it did and u cannot deny it. but God can erase those feelings, and when u think back, you can have a laugh at what happened and not feel bitter. i believe that's the way God wants us to take it.

when i was in JC, life wasn't a bed of roses either. running for student's council and being in it was another bad decision. to me, i was just determined to do what i want to do, but maybe others view me as being agressive. during the running for student's council, i had a bad collision with another fellow candidate, and she had the 'backing' of the senior student councillors! how unlucky of me. in the end, both of us still got into the student's council and we eventually became rather close friends. now thinking back, it is not hurting, i think it was a good ending for both of us. eh, unfortunately, we're not in contact anymore too.

i think 1 of God's best gifts to me [other than my supportive family and my bf], is a longtime friend xiaoyun. though we don't see each other all the time now, we're still in contact and we try to meetup to catchup. we don't need to sms or call each other all the time, but i know she'll be there when i need her and vice versa [i hope she knows this!!]. knew her in secondary school, and i think we did hang out that time [it's too long ago for me to remember!]. oh yes we did, i remember we do go to bedok interchange after school to 'study' in macdonalds. haha. in JC, she was also in the student's council so we met almost everday and suffered all the hardships together, including the silly SC camp. Thinking back, the SC camp is som dramamama. and we went to church together. she faced PO and we went through it together, and we went to church together again. then i left church for awhile, and then we went to church again together. now i left again, hehe. and we still contact. and we're both in prudential. hey here's the things in common we have:

our dads are the same age
our mums are the same age
our eldest bros are the same age
we are the same age
we have 2 siblings
we went to the same secondary school, JC and uni [same faculty some more]
our bfs are the same age.
we now stay in the north [haha, so lame!]
we go/went to the same church
we had the same ECA in JC [Student's council]
we both love singing and massdancing [in jc]
we're in prudential and we joined the same year.
etc etc

haha.

alright have to sign off.

mayling signed off at
|8:16:00 AM|

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-Thursday, August 28, 2008-

I Resisted the Urge to Shop!

today is supposed to be a work day! Mr Lau Sai [acronym LS and literally Lau Sai-ed earlie this morning!] smsed me at 5am this morning to say he was having diarhea [lau sai] and we called off our work activity today. Sleepy me slept all the way til 11am. Well, not that I love to sleep til this late. Infact, I prefer to wake up at 7 or 8am every morning. Reasons: air is fresh and it is quiet. But the jetlag problem is getting me and I can't sleep earlier than 3am, for now. Tonight I'd try again, to sleep at 12mn.

Anywayz, I got up 11plus, cleaned up and went on msn. Talked to xiaoyun and we decided to meet up 3pm at AMK. ended up, I reached near to 4pm. So sorry!! Argh, i hate waiting for bus. I took a cab in the end.

We went to ah mei's.. tea was good but not the prata i ordered. totally cannot make it. pls don't order mushroom with onions. it is actually mushy mushrooms and onions soaked in awful curry. Well, actually i wanted mushroom and cheese. but they only had 'cheese' or 'mushroom and onion'. i asked for a mushroom and cheese but they can't, cos 'the mushroom and onions are blended together already'. it's quite funny actually. anyway, we chatted for really long.

went to artbox and i got [ANOTHER] scheduler. it's like my 4th one for this yr. haha. cos i keep getting sick of the old one and i change, that's why. so i've already thrown out 2 for 2008, 1 sitting on my table now and 1 new one that i bot today. on top of that, i've got 3 brand new ones in my drawer. i love schedulers! pdas have never been an alternative. i just love to write write write. sometimes, u may find random gossips or random thoughts written down in some corner of a page. that's the fun part!!

then we went to top 20, highly raved by faith. it's not bad really! tried a few dresses and tops but i didn't buy. i loved 2, but i decided to resist the urge and i did. congrats clarise!

that's all!!

mayling signed off at
|10:18:00 PM|

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Haven't blogged for soooo long!

here's some random updates:

i bought my hp mini-note

loaded pruway, sqs and epad onto my mini-note after 4 hours of waiting

went to paris and london

met winston at london

no air-con for my room in london but it is sure cold. and the rain is so icy!! london is really fun [the trip wouldn't had been fun if i only went to paris]. it's like singapore, but with 10 times more people, so it is very very very crowded on the streets. and i get to see REAL squirrels for the first time in my life. so suaku. they're so cute. the air isn't very good though, broke me out badly :( but will definitely go there again!

bought 2 LVs, 1 Gucci, 1 Longchamp at Paris

bought 2 Harrods bag at London

bought a Gucci wallet for Jimmy

gained 1 kg from my Paris/London trip and lost it in 2 days after I came back.

Xiaoyun is attached! And she may be going to Taiwan this Oct! [so jealous, I also wanna go!]

the photos for my taiwan trip in may will not be posted here afterall. too much work! argh.

thinking of getting a noe damier azur, neverfull damier [from japan], french purse vernis amarante, speedy 40 [my coming goals]

currently on a shopping-fast. not shop very fast, but a fast from shopping. No more unnecessary purchases til end of 2008.

just ate a bowl of korean instant noodles + egg, made by mum

thinking of changing my phone to sony ericsson c902. never considered iphone tho, and negative reviews just made me very sure i won't get an iphone. hahaha. so much for the coolness of the apple.

Jimmy got his brand new Lexus, now with bodykit [which i still dun understand, what difference does the body kit make??]. I prefer the interior, air-con seats!

jetlag since i came back from london. today is already the 9th day and i still can't sleep til 3am. but i must say it is improving, initially it was 5am [which is 10pm in london].

cleared my wardrobe of all the clothes i do not wear anymore. now it is full! but not overflowing! :)

alright that's all for the random updates
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mayling signed off at
|11:53:00 AM|

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