-Saturday, August 05, 2006-

incoherence

i dun even know if i should be blogging about this. i'd probably be so incoherent u'd be confused by what i'm going to say. have u ever felt that life is unfair? i'm sure u have, everyone has. but i shouldn't, we shouldn't feel that way. it's not right, becos it's not even right to say life is unfair. unfair is not the word. i should probably use, life is not planned the same way for everyone by God. different people have different lives because God wants to manifest something different. so it depends on which plan u got. i tend to feel tired, i tend to feel alittle hard catching up with things going on in my life. sometimes i do feel on top of the world, but i simply detest the feeling of needing to catch up with life. it's moving too fast for me. or is it just that we can never get comfortable in life? we have to keep on meeting difficult things? it's like i just settled in my work, and things start changing, things start to turn alittle tough. i shouldn't say a little, i should say ALOT. A BIG DEAL of something now falls on my shoulders. i have no choice! [disclaimer:it's nothing to do with work, nothing to do with dear jimmy, no we didn't quarrel]i felt so unfair suddenly. i feel like i wanna scream, until this thing goes away. but the truth is right in my face, it's a fact, it's reality and i have NO CHOICE but take it. take that whole chunk. u can empathise, u can sympathise, but it's still my situation. its so hard to swallow. and things are not happening to help me cope. it's that DIFFICULT. no joke. i might be crushed anytime i am not keeping up with life. there's a few things i can do:
1)keep complaining on my blog and no one will know the reason why
2)keep it in my mind and be very super extremely exceptionally unhappy and let it affect my work, my life, my everything and eventually dear jimmy will be affected too but no one will know the reason why
3)blog it, but no one will know the reason why, be happy that i've blogged it, smile and move on with life! move abit faster, so that i do not need to feel like i am needing to catch up with life anymore.

apparently i have done number 3. the rest is up to me.

mayling signed off at
|12:29:00 AM|

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