-Monday, August 09, 2004-

things are so weird

i can't understand so mani things! :( *stressed

why like that? seems like a lot of things happening behind my back... seems like my life is being manipulated.. seems that i can't even do things that i wanna do! if it's sinful, i know. but it's not! it's totally normal, why can't i do it? and the reasons behind it is so lame. lame to the extent that even a kid will know it's lame. dun fool me, for goodness' sake!!

for the first time in my christian life, i feel that people are trying to put me down. why? are you really my friend? it seems that it's so fake. suddenly i see that some people were just putting on a mask.. in the past, they just kept quiet when i was around, now they rejoice over a change in my life that seemingly gives them an opportunity to stand out. it's so true.. pastor says that some people can act harmless, but given the chance, they'd just turn around and bite u. i'm kinda hurt.. but it does me no benefit to continue feeling that way. i just learn from my mistake!

"i've seen thru u guys. i thought u guys realli respected me and cared for me. it's just a disguise. u guys just turned around and bit me. it's so hypocritical! i hope u realise that it's not right."

of cos, i've got good friends too. i've no time to continue blabbering on abt friends who hurt me.. when i have lotsa good friends who REALLI care despite the distance. friends who stood by me to listen to me.. friends whom i can just easily share with. xiaoyun, u're one of them! thanx for calling me just now. nice talking to ya... thanx for listening to me. :)

mayling signed off at
|12:14:00 AM|

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